I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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