I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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