i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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