just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
