No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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