Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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