I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
