I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
