Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
