Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
