You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
