I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
