I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
