weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
