I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
