yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
