People in love make me want to vomit
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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