I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
