i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
