He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize