i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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