; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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