You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
