How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
