some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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