if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
