If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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