Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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