I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
