This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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