i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
