Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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