I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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