How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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