she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
