I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
