I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
