haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
