I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
