i just wanna soil my oats bro
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
