I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize