So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize