im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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