he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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