I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
