dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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