If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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