we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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