If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
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But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
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He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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