I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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