i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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