That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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