Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
