No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
