you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
