You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
