I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
