I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
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