I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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