My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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