she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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