super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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