I swear she didn't look like that last week.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
