piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
