I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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