i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Fuck appropriateness.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
