I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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